This might be the beer talking...

I am so, so sick of hearing about Twilight by now. It's like a bad meme that people can't quote properly, with about as much artistic and creative merit as CopperCab - the only difference being, I can stand about five minutes of his deluded troll ranting before I realize I could probably be doing something more constructive with my time. The first glimpse of Kristen Stewart's gormless face, permanently frozen in the same ridiculous open-mouthed pout like some macabre Keanu Reeves copycat, and I'd probably suffer some sort of crap induced seizure.

Twilight is simply this - a product mass produced to dope little girls into spending money. It's like a drug, but shit. Literally. People who pay to see that trio of living bad PhotoShop pictures are spending money to eat the liquid, stagnating combined defecation of Stephenie - whatever - her - name - is- and the sleazy studio who lowered what little standards they had to produce this steaming pile of fetid crap. I'm not sure about my feelings for Twilight fans - I'm not sure if it's pity for being duped by the simplest media technique in the book of social manipulation and deception that constitutes the way products are sold to us - or just straight up hatred for how stupid they act when they catch the slightest whiff of that pretentious, scruffy haired twat (Or, in fact, any of the barely manifested fetuses calling themselves performers).

You're attracted to R Pattinson? Fair enough, no accounting for taste. But if you want to look at that guy, you may as well watch Dylan Moran stand up videos. That's what Pattinson will look like in about five years and Moran is intelligent, insightful, and extremely entertaining, packed with an amount of anti-social vitriol I could only ever achieve in my sweetest misanthropic dreams.

To cut a long rant short - Watching and enjoying Twilight is like eating a bag of dog shit and making everyone else smell your breath afterwards.