DCU Online (And I feel guilty about milk)

The two thoughts circling around my head right now are "damn cows!" and "Poor DCUO".

I've had the game for the grand total of two days and whilst I like the fresh look, freedom of movement, and generally all the little touches (Being mentored by the likes of Superman, Batman, The Joker and Lex Luthor is something you just don't get in World of Warcraft or RIFT), there are two major issues that make me turn the game off about half an hour after logging on.

Issue number one!

The controls are horribly console-friendly. Now, I'm a PC gamer with ownership of a PS3 and a 360, and I love those consoles, but the MMO is not something intended for a PS3 interface. Playing on a PC with controls designed for a console controller is frustrating, and thus DCU feels more like a button mashing action game than anything else. It also means that tiny little things like movement and aiming are just a little bit more imprecise. Movement feels delayed and clunky.

Issue number two! (And it's a doozy)
There is nothing more awkward than logging onto an MMO, looking at the server list in that gentle, virginal moment where you're picking a place to host your first tender foray into a new world, and every server listed is marked as "low".

There are limitless analogies to describe that feeling. It's like being inches away from losing your virginity, and the significant other decides to go do something else (Probably WoW). Sony Online Entertainment must feel like the richest, hottest kids in town who have thrown a giant party with lots of beer, marijuana and strippers while their incredibly rich parents are away in France trying to cover up the tragic farce their marriage has become - only to find out that everyone else would rather be at home drinking tea, eating crisps, and, you guessed it, playing World of Warcraft.

In my humble opinion, the launch was most unfortunate. I didn't join the game at launch as I did with Rift, but the launcher experienced a load of Flash and Java related issues that stopped people from playing the game entirely, not to mention an incorrect configuration file which tried to access the wrong links for news in the launcher wrapper. Even as I played the other day, months after release, I still had to go and copy - paste the right links in the config file to play. It sounds like a minor complaint, but several months after release, this really should have been patched out for good. Not long after DCUO's launch, Rift hit, which had already garnered itself quite a player base through an intense beta testing programme and those gorgeous HD visuals. Rift is technically the superior game, both to WoW and DCUO, however, it does not have the establishment of either. WoW has been going forever, and has hundreds upon hundreds of hours of content for those with the time to take that life consuming walk through Azeroth.

Not only that, but content updates are frequent and decent thanks to Blizzard's pile of cash that they all make their homes in. DCUO has characters and locales established through decades of comic books, movies, and videogames, which is the only reason it has players, in my opinion. You do not play DC Online unless you like DC characters, whereas you get all kinds of gamers playing WoW without a second thought for the lore or main storylines just for the sweet joy of ganking some Night Elf or doing the most DPS on a stupid recount scale. Rift has the worst lore of all, it's messy and the characters look kind of lame, but it offers a comprehensive MMO experience which is extremely rewarding with patience. It's reminiscent of WoW in the early days when you couldn't get to level 80 playing casually in a week.

With all that said, I feel guilty about milk... that is all.

The Big C's(Caffeine, Chocolate, Comics and Computers)

Oops.

I did that thing I always do - I forgot to remind the internet that I was alive for several weeks! Nay, months, even!

I can't help that, though. Life has been a double - bladed edge of climax and disappointment lately. A trip to Brighton with the girlfriend to , and therefore inevitably Dave's Comics, reignited the purebred nerd lurking somewhere in my mangled cultural identity and thus I've set about assimilating myself into the world of spandex and superheroes again. However, my preference for the bloody and occasionally disturbing meant I skipped the endless back issues of Spidey and friends and scooped up as much Jhonen Vasquez/Mark Millar/The Darkness as I could for my money. Don't get me wrong, I love Spider Man, but Peter Parker never ripped out a man's heart and ate it (Shut UP, Marvel Zombies).

I also finished college with some pretty decent grades. So, off to Uni in a few months, with all my worldly belongings and a desire for some sort of digital or print related career. This is what I really wanted to write about - for the past month, my girlfriend Lisa has essentially been living with me, sort of like a precursor for the next year coming, and it's been interesting. Despite our many, many similarities, we have one fundamental difference which continues to become a bone of contention (However small it is).

It's called "Lifestyle", and the papers would have you believe that it's the difference between dying, and well, just not dying for a little bit longer, really. Despite having studied it for three years now, I still pay the media little regard when it comes to our own health. Our lives are our own, and while I will not begrudge someone who goes for daily jogs or lives entirely on nuts, wholegrain and water their choices, I will argue to my last nerve if they try and question mine.

If I sit on my arse playing MMOs and eating cake all day, I am aware that I will get fat. Obviously I do not care, otherwise I wouldn't do it. If I did care, I would go straight to the closest newspaper and beg them for the latest tidbit of bullshit claiming that holding kittens for too long can cause cancer, or that going to the dentists increases chances of lactose intolerance, or that if you abandon coffee, video games, chocolate, and weed you become IMMORTAL AND GAIN THE POWER TO STRIP THE PUDGY FLESH BREATHERS OF THEIR FOOLISH THOUGHTS OF INDEPENDENCE (Oh, wait. That's the worldwide media).

My girlfriend is no fool - she'll laugh equally at the pathetic, reader - harvesting articles. She's one of those borderline sensible healthy people and though she loves me for me, not for my lifestyle or pastimes, I do sense a slight... polarization. She wants to walk places after meals, I want to curl up out of direct sunlight with A Song of Ice and Fire. We have an equal uneasiness about each other's habits - she wants me to be as passionate/aware about health as she is, and I want her to be as laid back and relaxed about it as I am. If I'm in the mood to be what is considered healthy, I will be. I'm a happy little vegetarian with a love for confectionery, and my body is a 50/50 divide of muscle and fat. I'm not fat, but I'm a little round about the edges, a weight which I easily sustain.

I don't even know why I'm thinking about this tripe, to be honest.

Anyway, I just finished reading Squee's Wonderful Big Giant Book of Unspeakable Horrors and it was bloody fantastic. So was Kick - Ass, the graphic novel of my favourite superhero movie of recent times, which for some diabolical reason I have only just gotten around to reading. I'm carving through A Song of Ice And Fire like a hot knife, currently on A Storm of Swords Part 1. I've also been playing The Darkness again in preparation for the second one, just picked up a PSP to play Birth By Sleep, and I've been enjoying Duke Nukem Forever. It's a terrible game, but it reminds me so much of the PlayStation days I can't help but giggle at the lurid stream of puerile tedium that is the Duke's long awaited return.

That's all for now!